Once upon a time there lived a Tiny Little Oiler by the name of Gulf Keystone (LSE: GKP).
It lived in a great forest called Kurdistan in the kingdom of Iraq where all the animals ran around with kalashnikovs, AK 47’s, missile launchers, tanks, drones and even fighter jets busying themselves by trying to kill each other.
There was a particularly Big Bad Bear that lived in the forest called ISIS who liked nothing more than to rampage through the forest using weapons accidentally lost by the one they call The Great Satan and savagely kill those who wanted peace.
Animals from other forests who had previously hunted in the Kingdom of Iraq and who had savagely killed those who wanted peace looked on in relief that somebody else was now doing the killing.
Peace it seems was not on anyone’s agenda.
Our Tiny Little Oiler thought that the psychopathic behaviour of all the animals in the forest and those who had previously hunted in the forest was very silly indeed and decided to ignore their quarrelsome ways and so went about the business of extracting oil from the forest and selling it at very low prices.
It soon needed the assistance of some very nice animals called bondholders because some of the other nice animals called shareholders were tired of our Tiny Little Oiler’s need for cash due to not successfully selling enough oil from the forest to make it pay.
The constant barbarous interruptions from the psychopathic animals therein were not helping Our Tiny Little Oiler from making any profits.
Indeed the barbarous interruptions from the the psychopathic animals and the cheap price of the oil meant that our Tiny Little Oiler was unable to make any profits and soon fell on hard times and sought the help of the very nice animals called bondholders begging them not to take ownership of all of it’s oil operations and sell it all to the highest bidder.
The Tiny Little Oiler had no choice but to beg the very nice animals for leniency and tell the whole world that everything was hunky dory because they always had very very nice animals called shareholders to rely on for more cash.
The Tiny Little Oiler had the great idea of selling all of it’s loss making oil operations to anyone who would buy them because it could no longer stand the cheap price of oil and the difficulty of extracting oil in a forest full of psychopathic animals.
But nobody wanted to buy Our Tiny Little Oiler’s oil operations because they knew just how psychopathic some of the animals in the forest of Kurdistan were, how other animals had faired hunting in the forest and how the Big Bad Bear called ISIS was causing havoc for everyone using weapons accidentally lost from the one they called The Great Satan.
Our Tiny Little Oiler was in such a pickle and would have lost everything but it knew that the very very nice animals called shareholders were always there for a pretty penny or two.
In response to all this mayhem some very very very nice animals called short sellers decided to short the stock of our Tiny Little Oiler because they could see that the farce that had become the Kingdom of Iraq (and surrounding kingdoms) because of the constant supply of weapons lost by the one they call The Great Satan to the Big Bad Bear called ISIS was designed to be deliberately destructive.
Ironically, the very vey very nice animals called short sellers were the only ones making money from all the silly behaviour of the animals in the forest, the other animals who had previously hunted in the forest, the clumsy one they call The Great Satan and the Big Bad Bear called ISIS.
PS For previous articles on Gulf Keystone click here
Images: Bear In The Zoo